Living the Half Full Life

Hi friends, it’s been a while. 

My brain has been kind of mush this last semester, and I haven’t had the time or mental capacity to focus on blogging in the way I would like. Plus, I have been having a bit of writer’s block, so that hasn’t helped either. 

I have beat myself up quite a bit because of this. I feel like I should be doing more and achieving more. Heck, I haven’t even felt like I am doing enough.

It hasn’t been for lack of trying. 

I have applied for so many things in the last 6 months. Jobs, a study abroad, even trying to have better relationships. 

I got rejected from jobs that would help my application for grad school. My study abroad studying neuroscience across Europe got cancelled. I had to move away from the relationships I have tried to build. Life just hasn’t seemed to go the way I have wanted it to, and it is affecting my mental health in the worst way possible. It makes me question what I should be doing with my life. I am very confused, anxious and depressed. 

So I have had to slow down and focus on the important things. Like holding a routine, and re-framing my mind to not think so negatively. It reminds me of the wise words of Olaf from Frozen 2. “This is called controlling what you can when things feel out of control.”

This whole experience has made me reflect on how my mental health tanks when my life changes. Which isn’t great for someone in their early 20’s, because life changes A LOT. You have to start figuring out your life, if you are going to school and where and what you want to study, or what you want your career to be, and how you are going to achieve your goals, and who you are going to surround yourself with, and figuring out relationships.

It’s a lot. 

But does life ever stop changing? Do you still work years to build up a career only to have your business fail? Or a relationship ends? A loved one dies? A new child added to the family? A child moving out? 

Life is a rollercoaster with ups and downs—we have heard this analogy so many times. However, I have had this thought in my head that I just need to get through this one difficult time, and then things will be smooth sailing from there. 

But it won’t be. There is always going to be something new. 

This could be something exciting, or something devastating. Something expected or not. 

Life changes.

So does our mental health. 

Our mental health has the same rollercoaster capacity as life in general. 1 in 5 American adults experience some sort of mental illness a year*. Many people can be happy and live life to the fullest only to find themselves in a serious depressive episode later. 

But while roller coasters go down, they go back up again. Just like our mental health. It can be bad.

But things will get better. 

I was able to miraculously find a great summer job that is flexible enough to accommodate my needs. I have been able to spend time with old friends I haven’t spent much time with in years. I have gotten a chance to spend time with my family. There are half full glass moments in my current life. 

If you are struggling right now, do what it takes to keep moving, so you can experience the ups again. 

If you feel on top of the world, remember this moment. Savor it. Remember how amazing it feels to have worked to get where you are, so you can reflect on those memories when life does get hard again. And support others through their trials. 

Life is a rollercoaster. It can give you whiplash with how much it changes. But it can be exhilarating and so meaningful. 

Give yourself some mercy on the lows, and remember, you are not riding this alone. 

*https://www.nami.org/nami/media/nami-media/infographics/generalmhfacts.pdf