Living the Half Full Life

Forward: This post was written by a good friend of mine who also has a passion for mental health. Being willing to open the conversation of mental health, whether it is talking about our struggles or what we do to cope, is one of the ways we can find a way to improve our society’s overall health. I am thankful to Katie for being vulnerable and sharing a bit of her story and thoughts.

Hey Guys! My name is Katie. Just so you know a little bit about me here’s a list of random facts.

1.   I think spaghetti just might be my love language

2.   I love creativity

3.   Maddie and I were roommates and mission companions. She is an amazing friend!

4.   My husband and I would gladly adopt Baby Yoda

5.   I am currently taking a sociology class at my University

It was my Sociology class that inspired me to write this letter. At the beginning of this semester we were tasked with a semester-long project that would be focused on a sociological issue we wanted to learn more about. The topic I chose was “Promoting Mental Health Awareness in Secondary Schools.” As I was researching this topic, I realized that even more important than spreading awareness about mental health is helping one another deal with our mental health struggles. 

While I did my research, I learned that by discussing with others we can help one another to overcome our mental challenges. So, with that in mind I wanted to share some positive psychology practices that have helped me and may be able to help you. 

1.   Remember that you are not your thoughts

About a year ago I had a lot of anxiety and thoughts such as “it will all go wrong,” “There is no way I will be able to handle this,” and “I am not smart enough.” I wanted to be able to overcome these thoughts, but I wasn’t sure how. I decided to take a positive psychology class, and that has been an absolute blessing in my life. My teacher helped me to realize that I am not my thoughts. Just because I think things aren’t going to work out, doesn’t mean that in reality things aren’t going to be okay. Just because we think we aren’t smart enough, doesn’t mean we aren’t. We are far more capable and wonderful than we often give ourselves credit. I know sometimes this is hard to believe, especially if you are struggling with a chronic mental illness, but you truly are good and loved, despite your thoughts. 

One thing that I do to remember that I am not my thoughts is by practicing awareness. When a mean or a depressing thought comes into my mind, I try to add the phrase “I am thinking that…” before repeating the thought. For example, when “I’m not beautiful” comes into my mind I add “I am thinking that I’m not beautiful.” This helps me to realize that these aren’t necessarily truths, but thoughts. Sometimes it helps for me to think my thoughts in silly voices so I can realize how ridiculous I am being. Try it sometime! It just might make you feel a little happier. 

2.   It’s okay to press the pause button

Sometimes when I’m busy, I feel the constant need to keep working. I work and work until I almost burst. I have come to find that if I am overworked then I get to a point where I can’t work anymore. I get tired, emotional, stressed, and have lots of anxiety. I have found that by taking a 15-minute break in between 45-minute study sessions, I not only tend to do better mentally and but also academically.Taking a moment to take a break and just breath has helped me do more than I thought was possible. I believe that a successful life needs balance. So, this week when you feel like you are near your breaking point, find a little moment to press snooze on life. It will help you get even further with the time you do have.

Last December it felt like I had something on my schedule every minute of my every day. Between planning a wedding, finding an apartment, studying for my finals, and working two jobs, it felt like there was no room to breath. I wasn’t getting much sleep and could barely function. In my english class we read a story about a boy who studied too much and his life began to waste away. It wasn’t until this boy learned to just pause and connect with others that he found relief and peace. So, I went home that day and decided that I wasn’t going to waste away, but instead I was going to connect with others. Later that evening, I sat in the living room and put my homework and phone aside. I encouraged my roommates to do the same. Suddenly, the stress that I was feeling, that we were all feeling seemed to vanish. Soon our anxiety was replaced with laughter. We had all been so deeply involved in our deep conversation, when we finally checked the time we realized we had been talking for almost four hours. 

I think my heart grew that day. I still can remember the conversations we had and the sound of our laughter. My roommates and I began to spend more time together just to talk. Not only did I develop closer friendships with each of my roommates, I found renewed strength and was able to do well on all of my exams. It was awesome! 

3.    Live a value centered life

I love to set goals, but often I go overboard. I get nitpicky and want to be perfect. The truth is, no matter how many goals I set, I will never reach perfection in this life. Even though we can’t be perfect, we can become better versions of ourselves. What I have come to realize for myself is that becoming better doesn’t require me to make 25 new goals each week, to be the best at all that I do, or to be SuperWoman. 

I have found that I feel the most confident and happy when I focus less on goals and more on values. One thing I have done in my positive psychology classes is take a personal values assessment. This has helped me to gain a great perspective of the things I value and has helped me to make goals that I really care about. One of the things I really value is relationships. This has helped me to focus on making goals that will help me improve the relationships that I have with my family, friends, classmates and coworkers. Here’s a good site for a personal value assessment if you would like to try it: https://www.valuescentre.com/tools-assessments/pva/

4.   Turn outwards 

I know there is not a cure for chronic depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, and many other diseases. But I honestly feel that when we do our best to help others around us who are also suffering and struggling, we can feel a sense of joy. Russell M. Nelson is the current President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day recently stated, “The joy we feel has little to do with the circumstances of our lives and everything to do with the focus of our lives.” I have seen that as I turn outwards rather than inwards, I can help others feel happy and light, and that it helps me to feel the same. Maddie has been a wonderful example to me of turning out. Even while she has been struggling, she has always been there for me and everyone else around her. 

So, I am willing to believe that if you earnestly try these positive psychology practices your life will change, just as mine has changed. Thank you for reading what I had to share, and I hope you won’t hesitate to share the things that have helped you all with others. This way we can all learn from one another and lift one another.